Life

7:24 PM

kekeke~**
since jie posted her collection~
i also post mine!
xD

=p..
sooo...
here goes!

My table~ one of them=x

In my cabinet~ lalalaa~~

my tweetyy~~!!

still got alot more though~
later den post~ =D

Sunday, September 28, 2008
10:12 AM

i know...its me...
that have been always pushing people away from me..
i know its me
that have been always looking for them when im im trouble / problem

what a friend you might think...
i dunno how long i have been doing this.. but.. yea... i have been doing it...

my jie chat with me ytd night...
told me some stuff that i knew long ago...
but just that im still avoiding the fact...

she's really very encouraging...=D
xie xie jie..

she told me..
since memories cant bring to future, might as well just leave it as memories...
no point keep looking back... cus it still wont happen even if how much i hoped for it to happen...

these stuff did happened to her before too..
and she believed that in the future she will find someone even better..and she believed in herself...
and thus... she cheered up =D

she believe that i can do it too...just that i still need to move slowly...
and my first step will be...
changing my emo attitude..=x

if i dun emo at all, i will be a very cheerful gal~
so... from that... i need to open my mind and look forward...but not look into the past anymore~
=D
because there's still lots o guys better than him..=/
the more i look back, the worst i will get...=x

she said that,
love can be in many forms...
i have so much friends around me..
in my blog.. there's already so much friends that will love me... showering me with love..understanding me..

and that is the most powerful love of all..

if i can step out, on the very first step..* which is stop all my emo-ness *
she feels that...
i will and i can live a very good life...=D

she told me that..
even if people aint around me..
but inside them, them still will be caring and be loving
so...
Evan +U+U+U!! =D

normal people wont be around me.. they will distance away from me..
abnormal people will be around me... and thus be my friends! =x
cus im abnormal too..=D

Saturday, September 27, 2008
11:23 PM

ermm... if you guys are thinking of buying pressie for me...
try not / dont buy anything from >>>>>>>>>
cus those are things i wanna get for myself..=x

so... ><'''

but... its the thought that counts...
=D

Lovess~**

12 more dayyss~~!!

Friday, September 26, 2008
7:44 PM

<33
=33
loveess~**

I remember the times we spent together
On those drives
We had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York
Everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together
Were not enough
And I used to feel like dreamin'
Except we always woke up
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you, I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait

I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus
And how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad
Sometimes not having you here
I sing

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you, I can't just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you I can't just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

i love this songg~~!!!!
=D
even though.. it reminds me of you..
but still.. its a fact that i will never be able to forget you..
so why not just let me pretend you are still here for me..
loves~**

i know in anyways..
u wont be reading this..
i dun know if u are still the you that i knew..
but...
i know that..
deep in my heart..
i still love you..

and im not upset that it was over..
but im happy that it happened..
=D

11 more days to go!!!
8 more days to bbq~!!

<33

anyway.. today is a real tough day!!
rawrr!!
maths..o.o''
rofl..
but we celebrated jolin's bdae for her~
hehex!
run to cwp + run back...
damm tired siaa
hahaha..

lovess~**

13 more days!~

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
2:51 PM

13 more days!~

10 more days to my bbq~~~!!!

guys!!!

=D

* hugs *

Tuesday, September 23, 2008
1:04 PM

fave songs!!

sclub song!
reach!
* reach up for the stars *

bring it all back
* bring it all back to you~ *

Breathe again

1:02 PM

Have you wondered how it feels when it's all over
Wondered how it feels when you just have to start anew
Never knowing where you're going
When you face a brand new day
It used to be that way
Now I just close my eyes and say

*I just want to breathe again
Learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little , cry a little
Live a little more
I just wanna face the day
Forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little Try a little more
I’ll breathe again*

Starting out again is never easy
Disappointments come and go but life still moves on
With a bit of luck It's a brand new start
That might just work my way
No need to walk away
Don’t want to live life's replay

Repeat *
Things will work out fine
If you can find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn

Repeat *

and i will..
breathe again...
someday..
=D

Y^^

9:45 AM

i wanna change myself~
i wanna be loved!
=p

i wanna be fun!
i wanna be cheerful!
=D

i just wanna be..
^^
someone~
^^

=D

Home Alone~

Saturday, September 20, 2008
8:34 PM

-,-''
whole day alone at home...
breakfast at 1pm eat noodles...
den when i wanna make dinner eat...
i walked into kitchen... den hear noises... scary sia...-.-
got lizard...
den it jumped down from the table to the floor..
den crawl across me...i was like "jump jump jump"
i know i look/sound very stupid
-.-
i scared of them can?
><''

i ate
4 pieces of bread
5 pieces of picnic ham
1 egg
and
1 apple
for dinner
-.-

alot hor?
><''
i use the egg and the bread make french loaf..

apple cus scared like tat eat very long..
den cut into pieces
den accidently cut my finger-.-
bleed so much i tio scared-.-
but luckily stoped after some time...swtt...

lolx...
now back in my room.. reading manga~
=p

Changed too~!! =P

6:33 PM

seems like everyone is changing their blog skin..=p
i guess its my turn too~!!
kekeke~

seriously i dunno what to blog...
rofl...
iro auction is tml!!
got so many cute cute de head gears...
=p

the day before... on the....18th... i had my sci lesson..-.-
it sux... totally-.-
i hated the lesson..-.-
and i left early...
totally no mood to do...
and ended up cam-whoring =x

anyway...
for yesterday 19th sept...
when out with shun after sch...
to get materials for his pressie...
and when over to mac for dinner...
T___T
hungryy
=x

and... we had a heart puzzle!
for my bdae~ =P

lalala~~~
see ya again~ soon!

16 more dayss~~ =p

tired~!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008
12:57 AM

pheww~!!
flu gone!!
jus woke up...
had a dammmm shoik slp~
rofl..
from 6 slp till now...
rofl...
this shows how tired i was...
hahahaha...

super super super tired...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
5:42 PM

im sick and im tired...
sick for the whole day...
flu..
jus taken medicine...
im breaking down real soon...
phew...
plan plan plan...
planning for my bbq...
still got the amt of food to prepare..
im tired...

im asking the same questions everytime to myself...do i have a chance? do i still have a chance? have you gone through this like me? im really tired... why is it so hard to forget you.. i miss you.. and i believed.. =/... i love you... but im really tired...how do i get you out of my heart...do you ever know that i still exist in this world? i.... really..... =/

BBQ price check list done!!

8:46 AM

anywayyy...
thanks to shun, allie and yuki..
the bbq food check list is done!!!!
thank goodness..
now is only the ordering of food...
=/
$_$

tired tired and very tired...
tired until i couldnt wear my contacts on..
i gave up and wore glasses to sch...=/
when will i ever move on??with u in my mind like this...did i even move on?
i hate you... i hate myself... for giving you up... im the one who causes my self on the suffering..
i seriously hoped that i will get over it soon....=/... i knoow i need to move on...but how leh? its not that i dun wanna.. but how??

Rawrr!! a roll of events!! =p... its event...not evan...RAWR!

Monday, September 15, 2008
12:46 AM

Okayyyy okayyyy!!!
lolx... lots of ppl keep asking me to blog!!
lolx...
okokokok!!
i heard i heard!! lolx..
soo...
where should i start...
ermm...
im currently...
like this....
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Hahaha!!! im not emoing dun worry...
got shocked?..
nope?? o.o''
lolx...
i was at sakae again!!! for sushi... duhh~~
=x
with hao~
on friday.....
i was soooo boredd.... so... i acted... like ... zhen zhi... =p
kekeke~!
and... as usual... i cam-whored~ =p

here i present to you... big big lolipop!!!
wakakakaka!! rawrrr!!!

my class mate -marcus! always kanna bully by me.. =x...
wakakakaa

oh ya!! there was once... i was on my way home... i saw this butterfly on the way back from sch to mrt station... dammmmm nice lorrrs..!!!

and and and!!
there was one class... they drew on the window...
+ effect of the flash..
its dammm like animated!!
cute right?!?!

okayy... about today....i mean... yesterday... its over 12..-.-''
and i was dammmm dammm dammmm late..-.-
cus i did my bbq list dammm last min...
and i push back the time... from 2 to 3 to 430 den meet..=/
o ya... i forgot to say meet who right??
i meet up with shun... he said he was boring... and if i go alone.. i like very ke lian like tat... lolx..
=x
so... i met him at pasir ris...
check out the food + bbq stuff there...
do some price checking..
and... we stayed there for like... 1hr+++++2 hr bah?
rofl..
around 6++ den we move off to pasir ris park...
we walked...o.o'''
and walked...
and and walked....
lolx... looking for the most suitable pit for the bbq...
i was planning to get 2 if there is alot of ppl coming though...=p
and...
yuppie...
found the most suitable one..
till now... most ppl chose pasir ris..=p
so.. most probably will be at pasir ris bah...

for those who still dunno wats going on....

im having a bbq celebrating my 18th bdae.... on the 4th of october... * its a sat..*
* my bdae on 7th * but got sch mah... so cannot celebrate..T__T
andd....
so... that goes for why im checking prices for the bbq stuff too..=p
have to save lots and lots of money for the bbq..T__T

okiee....
so....
we planned to go orchard after the park..
and it was around 9.. when we reach there..
i was planning to get the materials that i need to make shun's bdae pressie...
but... the shop is close..T___T
waste my time!!
argghhh...
lolx..
and we spilt from there...
back to home sweet homee...

so... as usual... my cam-whore habit... =p.... the first pic!

taking pic in the train...=p... on the way to orchard...* i tickled him to make him smile..-.-'' =p"

with my specs on..T__T...today dammmmm lazy to wear contacts...rofl..=p

thats all for now~ =p
till then~
im the Super Silly gal~!
EvaN~**
Y^^

Sunday, September 7, 2008
1:55 PM

其实他做的坏事我们都懂
没有什么不同
眼光闪烁暧昧流动
闭上眼当作听说

其实别人的招数我们都懂
没有什么不同
故作软弱撒娇害羞
只是有一点别扭

傻瓜也许单纯地懂
爱得没那么做作
爱上了我不保留

傻瓜我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤

傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜

其实别人的招数我们都懂
没有什么不同
故作软弱撒娇害羞
只是有一点别扭

傻瓜也许单纯地懂
爱得没那么做作
爱上了我不保留

傻瓜我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤

傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜

傻瓜我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤

傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜

1:05 PM

how i wish...
we can travel back time...
stay the same as before...

i miss playing ro with u guys...
now ro is like... lifeless...
dead...
strangers...
all so distanced...
=/

i miss hanging out with u guys...
have you guys forgotten my existence??

hahaha...

i really miss chatting with u guys...=/
everyone together..
everyone seems so distanced now..

----------------------------------------------------------------------

anywayy...
i started sch for 3 days le...tml will be the 4th...
kinda stress... maybe cus haven warm up..
kinda scared... my class is so challanging...
=/
im scared i cant do well..
for the first time... i felt so stressed up...
hahaha...

_________________________________________________

ytd went out tgt with my friends... watched movie... had dinner..
yuki, allie, shun and mee...
watched money not enuff..
sighh...
=/
alot of thoughts after watching it...
=/

thats all for now i guess...
dunno why... kinda emoing for abit...><''

Tuesday, September 2, 2008
6:45 PM

seriously... i dunno wat i really want in my life..

i want friends + family + freedom
i want attention + alone? -.-
i want people to please me when im upset?

now u see what type of person i am...
im jus a freaking selfish gal..
freaking pestimistic gal..
freaking petty gal..

what i want in my life..
i seriously..
dont know..
and maybe.. i might not want to know...

do i really treat my friends well enough?
did i give them the attention jus as enough as i want from them?
did i give them the same amount of freedom as i want from them?
did i try and please them when they are upset?
will i try to do stupid things to make them laugh?

seriously..
sometimes...
i really dunno myself..
do i really deserve what i get from my friends?

i did try my best to make people feel bad.. did i?
i did try my best to give them the freedom they want... i guess its too much huh?
i did try my best to do stupid things to make them smile.. did i??
i think... i did try my best to get attention from them... but not giving the same amt back...

i always shut myself... making people dunno how to approach me when im abit upset..
cus i sound like i will kill...
or might even get more worse?

i guess.. im real bad huh?
=/

kazzie!!
=/
i miss you...
u always cheer me up with out fail...><
sigh...
wish u were here now..
when u come back... we go b&j again!
wakakka
sien...

i know what u will say la...
even with out u i still got alot friends right??
lolx...
i myself.. dunno if i really treating them as a real true friend...=/

but i know u are... and u are treating me the same as i treat u... or might be even more...
thx kaz...=/
lolx... i got a feeling u wont be even reading this...
rofl...

we miss you~ ^^
be safe!
take care...

12:01 AM

=/
stupid hao..
started the dog topic..
now i keep now looking into dogs..

=/
sien...

anyway~~!!!

my top favourite dogs!
1. american cocker spaniel... * my ex-dog + boyfriend *
2. old english sheepdog
3. shetland sheepdog
4. miniature schnauzer
5. yorkshire terrier
6. border collie

but!!!

the top 3 that i wanna have as pet is...
1. shetland sheepdog
2. miniature schnauzer
3. yorkshire terrier
cus of some requirements...=/
im not able to choose the one that i like most...lolx..
but the rest also not bad...rofll...
i shall name my next dog as
starry? =x lolx..
im crazy...
but i might really name it something related to stars...rofl...
hahahaha...

lolx....
=/
wake up need...keep myself discepline.. must go excercise... but i doubt i will...too lazy...-.-''
must help daddy iron clothes...
sigh...
tml start sch le..
sien...
so many movies not yet watch...
=/
sigh..

Monday, September 1, 2008
4:52 PM

phew...
jus came back from my run + exercise..
lolx...
im sooooooo gonna do this more...
lolxx...

freaking tired... and really sweating..
lolx..
have to really discipline myself to do more of these...=p

12:13 PM

can i...
jus pretend nothing has happened and start anew??

i hate my emoing self..
i sound so kiddish..
lolx..
watever...
smile smile evan smile..
lolx..
im lazy....
lolxx...
im so super petty..
hahaha...
lalala~

11:12 AM

its another freaking emo post...
seriously... i dun wan u guys to read it..
i know its open to all and stuff..
sigh....

i hate myself..
why do i have to say these to people like that...
you forced me..

y do i always ruin all these...

is it that im so dam naive that i can be treated this way...
what the hell did i do wrong...

i hate myself for saying things i shouldnt say...
i hate myself for doing things that make me "friendless"
i hate myself for always making the wrong choice...
i hate myself for my dammm personality..
i hate myself for not appreciating things around me when i have it...
i hate myself for letting it go...
i hate my damm mouth or my dammm hands...
i jus hate myself so freaking much...
i hate myself....
i jus freaking hell want to get out of this world..

10:36 AM

the sunset at padang... ^^

hakki and mee~

partners for the day~

mei qian!!!
*super qiao... we met after so long... lolx... she's my mac de friend~ ^^*

12:35 AM

find theses few songs familiar??
hahahx...
this shows that..
im back to the same old me...
nothing have changed...
=D

i will try and keep myself from getting hurt again..
keep my self from all these stupid stuff..
im really scared...
i wanna jus break down..
why do i always have to get hurt...
i freaking hell hate the pain...

i dunno why the hell im doing things anymore...
i dunno wats the reason anymore...
i always get these back...
it is worth it??
=/

i just...
want to be loved..
want to be cared...
want to be seen as someone special..
want to be seen as someone that isnt jus some thing that can be used and thrown away...
want to be jus somebody... not nobody...

is it that hard??
is wanting all these to be fulfilled so hard???
im jealous...
of those...
=/
sigh....

Because of you

12:34 AM

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Labels: Because of you

Break Away - Kelly Clarkson

12:32 AM

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Labels: Break Away - Kelly Clarkson

Walk Away

12:26 AM

"Walk Away"

You've got your mother and your brother
Every other undercover
Tellin' you what to say (say)
You think I'm stupid
But the truth is
That it's cupid, baby
Lovin' you has made me this way
So before you point your finger
Get your hands off of my trigger
Oh yeah
You need to know this situation's getting old
And now the more you talk
The less I can take, oh

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away

I waited here for you
Like a kid waiting after school
So tell me how come you never showed (showed)?
I gave you everything
And never asked for anything
And look at me
I'm all alone (alone)
So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today
Hey

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away

I wanna love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I wanna man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you gonna fight for me?
Die for me?
Live and breathe for me?
Do you care for me?
'Cause if you don't then just leave

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Just walk away

If you don't have the answer
Walk away
Just walk (walk) away
(Just walk away)
Then just leave
Yeah yeah
Walk away
Walk away
Walk away

Labels: Walk Away